Failure to communicate

Oh, geez, happy Monday. Nothing like getting a long winded patron with nothing to say. This woman went on and on about how she had two gift certificated that she wanted to use for tickets for our next production. She started reading me everything on the back of the gift certificate.

Patron: my gift certificate says: AM=$108 (ok, you can stop now, that is for our summer performances and can't be used for the upcoming production, but I can't get a word in edgewise!), GC 45, Patron number 12345....(and she's just going)

Anastasia: Yes, ma'am, but what does the front of the certificate say?

Patron: Gift certificate for two for X....

Anastasia: Ok, yes, that was the other certificate. What does the $108 one say on the front?

Patron: my gift certificate says: AM=$108 (yes, we've established this. I asked you to turn it over dingbat!), GC 45, Patron number 12345...

Anastasia: Yes, ma'am, but I need you to turn it over and read to me what the other side says.

Patron: Oh, it says gift certificate says: AM=$108, GC 45, Patron number 12345...(save me from stupidity!)

Anastasia: I understand, but what does the other side say?

Patron: Oh...uh...I think this is for...uh...something else...

Anastasia: Is it green or yellow?

Patron: It's yellow

Anastasia: Yes, ma'am, those are for our summer productions. You will have to use that for tickets for our summer performances.

Patron: Oh...um...it says it expires 8/3/08

Anastasia: Yes, that is for our summer productions (geez lady, do I have to do an interpretive dance?)

Patron: Oh, ok. Oh, that's good because blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah...................................... (Anastasia takes mini-nap while patron monologues)

Time passes. Order is finally completed.

Anastasia: OK, so your total will be $30. Will this be a Visa or Mastercard today?

Patron (pauses, presumably to collect her thought. It's a long pause): Do you take American Express?

Anastasia: No, dingbat, I just asked you if it would be a Visa or Mastercard... No, we take Visa or Mastercard.

Patron: Ok, hold on a second...


Augh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!