Get it together, people!

Patron: Yeah, I couldn't come last night. I wanted to see if I could exchange last night's tickets for today's show.

Anastasia: No, I am afraid not. We do not allow refunds or exchanges. (Who the hell "misses" a show and comes the next day to see if they could exchange their tickets?? You wouldn't miss your flight and go to the airline counter and say "hi, I couldn't make my flight last night. Can I fly today instead?" Idiot!)

Patron: Are you sure? Is today sold out?

Anastasia: I am sure. We cannot exchange tickets for a past performance (so farking what if the performance isn't sold out. You bought tickets for last night's show. You didn't come. Sucks to be you.)

Time passes. Same show. Show starts at 2:30. It is now 2:32.

Patron 2 (hurries to the counter): I need a ticket for the show.

Anastasia: Sure, could I get your name please?

Patron 2: Why do you need my name? I just want a ticket. Hurry!

Anastasia: (Oh, so it's my fault you're late. This is a small town lady, and it's Sunday...didja hit traffic??) We need your name to sell the ticket. That is the way the system works.

Patron 2: Fine, my name is *Smith.

Anastasia: (See, was that so bad? Next time get your ass here on time) Here you are. Enjoy the show.


*names are changed to protect the tardy and inconsiderate