Rock of Love, the early years

So once upon a time, I worked part time in an amphitheatre. I would work shows, and it was fun because it wasn't my regular job and if I smarted off to a patron, they usually didn't realize I was mocking them because they were drunk/high/stupid/all of the above, and if they did notice, the boss wouldn't have fired me and it wouldn't have been the end of the world if she did. One summer, I was working the Poison show...

Patron comes up to the back box office window (one that you can get to once your inside the park). She's petite, bleached, teased, sprayed, leopard clad...you get the gist. She has in tow her 14 year old daughter, who looks like she'd rather die than experience this concert with her mother (and would rather be at an Incubus show). Patron has a small lunch-sized paper bag in her hand.

Patron: Hi! I had a somewhat weird request. Um, I was wondering if I could have this delivered backstage to Brett Michaels. It's a bag of thongs and I wanted him to have them.

Anastasia: (oh, my, goodness...! Seriously?! Just...wow...wow...) I'm sorry ma'am, we don't have access to the backstage area (this is true, btw. Box office peons don't hang with rock stars despite semi-popular belief).

Patron (crestfallen): Oh....really?? Is there anyone there who does? See, because the last time Poison was in town was about 13 years ago and I was supposed to dance for them (oh hell, she was a stripper), but I was pregnant and I couldn't perform (oh good grief! How embarrassed her poor daughter must be right about now!!) and I wanted to give these to him with a note that I was the pregnant girl at the strip club he visited when they came the last time. (Please, no more!!)

Anastasia (managing to keep a straight face through this): Well, the only thing I could tell you is to see if a security guard would be able to take them back for you (and can I watch while you tell them this story?)

Patron: Great!!! I'll try to find one! (scampers off, miserable-looking daughter in tow)

And the entire box office busts out laughing uproariously!!!!