Litigiousness

Patron: I'm a lawyer and I am really pissed (great, lead your call off like that...good plan. Already I take you for someone with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement). I am calling to complain about your store X. I didn't get seats to the Rolling Stones* concert and I am pissed. I was at that damn store at 7 am and they said they do a random drawing thirty minutes before the onsale. I just think that is bullshit. If I am first in line I should be the first person to buy tickets!

Anastasia: Ma'am we have a Random Number Distribution procedure in place at all of our retail locations (and have for at least 10+ years). We do this so that you won't have to waste time getting to the store super early and also to protect the stores from unnecessary loitering and the potential problems that this can cause. 30 minutes prior to the onsale everyone takes a number. A random number is drawn from a hat and that person is first, and the rest fill in line behind them. For example, if 10 people are in line and I draw #7, people line up 7-10 and then 1-6. Latecomers file in behind them.

Patron: Well that is just bullshit. It sounds like a scam to me (really, which part? The part where the store doesn't have to put up with your loser ass for 8 hours prior to an onsale or the part where you can actually...I don't know...do something useful and not waste half your day in line?). I know the person at the front of the line was a damn scalper (hmm, psychic now too?) and when I got to the counter they were sold out. This is unacceptable!

Anastasia: I am sorry you feel that way. But that is our procedure. It keeps it fair for everyone.

Patron: This is ridiculous. I have half a mind to sue you people (knock yourself out lady...and while you're at it, get a life! It's flippin' tickets, not a new heart!). Now I have to go to a "broker" and buy tickets at 4 times the face value. *click*

Anastasia: OK lady, how do you think those "brokers" got their tickets? They got in line like you did. The difference is they paid 10 kids to stack the lines and get the best chance at being first in line. And you know why? So they can resell those tickets to overprivileged people like yourself who have more money than sense or decency. If you'd stop feeding the broker's demands by paying 4 times the face value, they'd stop buying them out from under you in the first place!

*Concert name has been changed because I can't remember which one it was